To Pill A Cat

Once in awhile, I have to post a conversation. Because, well…that’s just how it happened. I will preface this with the acknowledgment that Zoe rocks. She needs no “products” to help her in the cat pilling. She has many furry babies at her house and she is Animal Medicine Woman. I, on the other hand…oy.

Cyndi: Trying to get a pill down a cat is like…
Cyndi: Trying to pour a beer while riding a rodeo bull.
Zoe: **SNORT**
Zoe: How did that go today? Did the vet show you how to pill him?
Zoe: And…what pill?
Cyndi: Did they what??? Show me?
Cyndi: No.
Cyndi: They said…give him 4.5 ml or 1/2 a pill.
Cyndi: He? Hates the pill.
Zoe: Benadryl?
Zoe: Of course he does.
Cyndi: And after 3 go rounds the coating is gone, so all he gets is…*snort*
Cyndi: Well, I wouldn’t take it either.
Zoe: What is your technique, dear? maybe I can help…
Cyndi: I…technique? I got no technique…hell, I barely have fingers at this point!
Cyndi: I was gonna go get the liquid…but I have no idea how to get 4.5 ml down a spitting, snarling, feline version of the Exorcist.
Zoe: ****SNORT****
Zoe: OK, is Steve home?
Cyndi: THIS was with TWO of US!
Zoe: Oh.
Cyndi: Oh, not the question. Sorry. Yes. He is.
Cyndi: I am a little hysterical.
Zoe: Um…wrap him in a towel. TIGHTLY.
Zoe: Let Steve hold the bundle.
Cyndi: We are supposed to do this twice a day for two weeks. I am thinking we will have many ER visits before we get this accomplished.
Cyndi: But…but…his head…spins. Independently from his body. And…and…his teeth somehow grow outwards from his jaw…like on the outside of his face.
Zoe: You grab his head with your left hand…put your thumb on one side of his jaw at the joint, your pointer on the other side. with the pill in your right hand, put a little pressure on the jaw, pull it down from the front lightly, and put the pill on the back of the throat…
Zoe: Hold his jaw shut and stroke his throat till he swallows. and do all of this quickly…time is the enemy. Gives him the chance to spin the head and puke the pea soup.
Cyndi: That’s no lie…holy crap.
Zoe: If two of you can’t wrap and hold him, are in trouble.
Cyndi: His tongue…becomes a serpent…writhing in his mouth. Ejecting everything that didn’t grow in there from it’s depths.
Zoe: I believe you…
Zoe: I have a bulimic…makes herself throw up what I give her…after she leaves the room…
Zoe: After I leave, I mean…
Cyndi: Oh, no…I can totally see him doing that. Dammit.
Cyndi: So…obviously dog knowledge does me no good.
Zoe: Not a lot…LOL
Cyndi: I never had trouble like this with my dogs.
Zoe: The technique is the same…but cats are just…well…demonic.
Zoe: Like you said.
Cyndi: DEMONIC! That’s it.
Zoe: And they thought the spot was just a reaction?
Cyndi: Yes, til we prove otherwise.
Zoe: So putting it in food was a no-go?
Cyndi: The in the food was completely stupid.
Zoe: OK.
Zoe: I’m sorry.
Cyndi: No, I tried…I thought it was gonna work. He is stupid about it.
Cyndi: He took one lick and his tongue went insane serpent again and he would not go near it.
Zoe: He’s a sensitive.
Cyndi: Well, I think the first thing I need to do is keep the pill coated.
Zoe: Yes.
Cyndi: Then, I need to find something he will eat in one gulp.
Cyndi: Is peanut butter bad for them?
Zoe: Yes, but I don’t think a tiny bit will hurt. Boo had a little last night.
Zoe: Peanuts, onions, and something else…some sort of fat they can’t digest.
Cyndi: Garlic.
Cyndi: I read somewhere no garlic.
Zoe: really? Hmmmmm…OK…
Cyndi: This is where I read it: LINK
Cyndi: Here’s another: LINK
Zoe: Whadda ya know.
Cyndi: I can’t think.
Cyndi: I tried cheese. That works for dogs. Dogs, are so trusting. And easy. LOL
Cyndi: I have no idea what to try.
Zoe: On that list? Marijuana…
Zoe: LOL
Cyndi: Yeah.
Cyndi: And alcohol.
Zoe: And tobacco?? Maybe THAT’S what’s wrong with JP…he’s hanging out with a bad crowd…
Cyndi: LOLOL
Zoe: I drugged one with alcohol once…to change a bandage on a leg…
Cyndi: If I gave Ansel some marijuana, and alcohol, he may calm down enough to give him the Benadryl.
Zoe: He might!!!
Cyndi: I swear.
Zoe: I see macadamias, but not peanuts.
Zoe: It is apparently raining.
Zoe: Tess is wet.
Cyndi: LOL
Cyndi: That is the safe conclusion.
Zoe: LOL And, indeed, TWC shows a yellow spot on my head.
Cyndi: LOL There ya go.
Cyndi: She’s the weather cat.
Zoe: Yup.
Zoe: Like the weather rock, only mobile.
Cyndi: Or the weather rope.
Cyndi: Yeah.
Cyndi: But no nail…
Cyndi: Oh, praise the Lord! Look at THIS: LINK for PILL POCKETS
Zoe: There ya go!
Cyndi: Yeah. I will be there as soon as they open.

So. The link above is to a major name pet store. They are $9 a package there. Which? Was completely fine with me to see if they worked. Now I will buy them by the six pack…well, if this should go on. But certainly cheaper online. The links are to a discounted online site.

And?? They WORKED. This is not something I would pour a bowl of for my cat. And I don’t often advertise for products other than my own. BUT, they are soft and chewy and whatever the flavor is, it makes him not care at all about what I have hidden inside. I cannot tell you what a relief it is not to go through the drama and carnage again. Good Lord. God bless the inventor of Pill Pockets. Thank you.

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