Category Archives: Rants

Things that tick me off…

Toasted Junk…?

I swear…there is nothing on TV to watch that you don’t hear about someone’s “junk”.

We have to see the commercials about men and their urinary problems, or worse. How many different drugs are there now to keep things down there, um…ready to roll? Who knew there was such a market for that anyhow?  Are there that many guys in this country with borked junk?

Sure, sure…we’ve been hearing way more than I want to about female issues, too.  Those women who talk to the little lady on the bathroom door need way more that something for urinary urgency.  A good shrink or some anti-psychotics, maybe.  And seriously, I am glad we are past pouring blue water into a pad on TV, but I really don’t get feel a need for a 1950′s style synchronized swimming number…especially when it has to do with birth control.  Really?  Gah.

And I know we have been subjected to more than anyone ever needs to know about John and Lorena Bobbett…something about having your junk cut off and thrown out of a moving vehicle that captures media attention.

But on Christmas Day 2009, one idiot topped them all.  “The Nigerian”, as he was referred to by two terrorist planners in a communication overheard November by CIA agents, tried to blow up a plane headed into Detroit.  How?  Well, I am glad you asked.  This guy made his UNDERWEAR into a BOMB!

A powder explosive was sewn into the crotch of his [“girlie looking” according to my DH] garment [the comments on this link are priceless]…the detonator to which apparently didn’t work very well.  He ended up catching the blanket on fire and parts of his clothing…in the process sustaining some burns that required a short hospital stay.

Of course, since we call Richard Reid [who used the same powder in his tennis shoe for his device] the “Shoe Bomber”, it stands to reason that this guy will forevermore be known as “The Underwear Bomber”.

This annoys my husband to no end.

“Anyone who tries to blow up a plane by first blowing up his crotch needs a stupider name than that.”

“You don’t think ‘the Underwear Bomber‘ is stupid enough?”


“I don’t think ‘the Underwear Bomber‘ is going to garner a lot of respect in prison.”

“Maybe not, but they need to call him something else.”

“Like what?”

“Like ‘the idiot who tried to blow up his junk‘…”

“Really? That’s awesome, honey…”

“Shut up. Maybe ‘Roasted Nuts‘ or ‘Blistered Balls‘…?”

“That’s um, more festive…works for me…”

“I got it. ‘Toasted Junk‘.”

Thanks, Farouk, you dumbass. Now I gotta hear about your junk 24/7 on every news broadcast…and probably get MY fat old lady junk blown up on some big screen full body scan next time I fly.  Very nice.  I hate terrorists. Why don’t you all go practice blowing up your junk in the desert.  I wish you much success.

The Perfect Storm

Sometimes things happen all at once in life. It feels like everything is coming from all sides and you’re just under attack, right?  It doesn’t have to be a major illness, a death, a horrific tragedy.  Sometimes, it’s just enough of the everyday…all at once…

That’s where I am right now.  It’s really hard to decide what to focus on, what disaster to give your attention. Continue reading

Never on a Sunday

I belong to a “family rec center” type of gym. It’s awesome. Cheap, clean, loads of equipment…and best of all, three pools. TWO heated indoor pools, one “recreation” with slides, a “lazy river”, etc…one lap pool with 8 or 10 lanes [I've never really counted], and one outdoor pool with slides, etc, that’s open all summer.

Normally I go during the week…I sort of plan to NOT work out on the weekends, cuz I am trying to work up to two hours in the water five days a week. If I can do that? I think I should be able to have the weekends to relax. And? Did I mention the “family” nature of the gym I go to?

Today was almost more than I could endure. I don’t mind splitting lanes. I don’t mind however they want to share lanes. But some common courtesy about it would be nice. I always ask to join a lane. I also know my speed and never try to share a “fast lane” since, I’m not really fast. But? Other folks either can’t read, don’t know how fast they swim, have delusions of grandeur, or are just plain rude.

Then there are the little cherubs and the people who believe they are the sun and the moon. That’s awesome. But? They do NOT belong in the lap lanes. On Sundays there are only 3, because they block off a large portion of the lap pool for a slide and the diving boards. And 3 would be enough, if the only folks in the lap lanes were actually swimming laps. But no.

Today there was a child, who could swim, sure…but he was with his Grampa, and wherEVER he wanted to go was fine. So. If he cut across the lap lane in front of me…oh, well, good for him. No matter which lane I moved to, they were there…either hanging on the edge or standing in the lane or swimming in the center of the lane I was trying to “share”. Not like there wasn’t an entire pool and a half for the darling lil munchkin to play in.

*sigh* Anyhow…took me forever, or it felt like it, to get my mile and a half in. Grrrr. But now I have more incentive than ever to go every week day…cuz…never again on a Sunday.


I am a Republican. Not “brainwashed”, as I have seen some put it…I actually have my own opinions and they do not always follow “party lines”. Heck, maybe I’m a Maverick.


A friend of mine…and yes, I have liberal friends…was completely annoyed with me when I wrote a post about Sarah Palin. She said, “I don’t dislike her, I just don’t want her running the United States of America…..I do not want her to be our President and I do not want her living in the White House.” Another one wrote and said, “I can’t believe you are OK with her being one heartbeat away from the Presidency.” Listening to the View too much, methinks.

Here’s something people should know about Palin:

Question: What is America ‘s first line of missile interceptor defense that protects the entire United States?
Answer: 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard.

Question: What is the ONLY National Guard unit on permanent active duty?
Answer: 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard.

Question: Who is the Commander in Chief of the 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard?
Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska.

Question: What U.S. governor is routinely briefed on highly classified military issues, homeland security, and counter terrorism?
Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska.

Question: What U.S. governor has a higher classified security rating than either candidate of the Democrat Party?
Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska.

According to the Washington Post, she first met with McCain in February, but nobody ever found out. This is a woman used to keeping secrets. She can be entrusted with our national security, because she already is.

Anyhow, here’s the deal…Obama scares me to death. See, if he wins, it will be for all the wrong reasons. Black folks think he’s black. He’s not, he’s of multi-racial decent…african, mostly caucasian, maybe some native american, rumor has it some arab, maybe. Who cares? To vote for someone because they’re a certain race, or not, even if they are in NO WAY READY for the position, is just plain dumb.

Voting for someone just because they say they will change things is also just dumb. He has not said what exactly he’s going to change. For all we know he’s going to make things worse. Lord knows our Democratic congress hasn’t done such a great job. One more Democrat in that mix doesn’t seem like much of a solution. More taxes don’t sound like a fix to me either. Running businesses out of the country won’t be a good change.

The “one heartbeat” thing annoys me, too. Obama’s parents died pretty young. And he smokes. Not good odds on him. If he dies, Biden is president. Biden has run for president twice. Obviously not a popular choice, so why on earth would we want him to be there if Obama died? Also. He has had two brain surgeries. He doesn’t know when the depression was and that there was no television then. What else is he confused about? If he dies…Nancy Pelosi is president. Seriously? SHE is scarier to me than Hilary. Good grief.

McCain’s Mom is 95. She’s a twin, both sisters are still alive, completely alert, driving and traveling all over. 95! I think based on that, we need not worry about Palin getting into office by default. We should be more concerned about the other ticket in that respect.

One friend also told me it wasn’t just her and I should go watch the Matt Damon video about Sarah Palin on YouTube. Matt Damon might just be among the hundred or so “celebrities” that I will never look to for my opinions on political or common sense issues. On the other hand, there are folks I agree with. Thank goodness.

To me, this guy makes good sense:


It’s not about Obama’s race, it’s about policies
Special to The Star
January 11, 2008. Ross Balano for Midwest Voices.

Where’s the change?

For all the talk of change coming from the Democratic side, what few specifics I hear sound strikingly the same as what we have come to expect from Democrats.

Let’s see: raise taxes, more and bigger government programs, no drilling in ANWR, etc. … What’s new about that? That’s same, not change.

Barack Obama thinks these are the things the American people want. If that’s true, then why isn’t Obama running away with this election?

Some would tell you it’s because too many of us are stupid and bitter people who cling to our guns and God. Others, including Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius, suggest that race has something to do with it.

So the race card has been played again this election; nothing new about that either. Democrats do it every election cycle. But I thought Obama was supposed to transcend race.

Now again, if you aren’t liberal, you must be some kind of racist, right? After all, there’s no other reason why anyone would not vote for Obama, correct?

So let me get this straight. With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy:

If you don’t want higher taxes, you might be a racist.

If you think we should drill for more domestic oil, you could be a racist.

If you believe we should secure the borders, you might be a racist.

If you believe in the right to keep and bear arms, the sanctity of life or winning the war on terror, you just might be a racist.

Heck, if you don’t vote for Obama, you must be a racist.

I, for one, am tired of this old routine.

Let me be very clear: The problems with Obama have nothing to do with the color of his skin. Rather, it has to do with positions, beliefs and associations and the lack of any substantial experience that would qualify him to be president.

Do we really want higher taxes even if he claims it will only be on the rich? How will raising taxes on the rich put more money in your pocket? Hint: It won’t.

In my adult life there have been two major tax cuts — Reagan in the early ’80s, and George W. Bush earlier in this decade. Both tax cuts resulted in more money coming in to the Treasury, not less.

We must secure our borders. We must drill for oil in this country wherever it is located so that we can lessen our dependence on foreign oil until new technology can be developed.

We must stay vigilant and strong against terrorism. We must cut government spending. We need constructionist judges who won’t destroy our constitution by distorting it to fit political views.

These would be real changes. Obama stands against all of these things. And he stood up for sex education in kindergarten and against protecting babies born alive as a result of botched abortions.

Is this the kind of “change we need”? I think not.

Ross Balano of Kansas City is a former business owner and current national accounts manager in the security and fire alarm field. To reach Midwest Voices columnists, write to the author c/o the Editorial Page, The Kansas City Star.

That’s what I’m talking about.

Fraud Alert!

Just having moved and furnishing just a couple of my rooms, I know that even cheap furniture is expensive! A friend of mine recently had a very bad experience…I want to pass it on, because it is NOT being handled in an ethical manner by the company.

Here’s what happened, in her words:

“I’ve surely had a fun experience with Wickes. I bought furniture – total – $2,083.41. Then I found out the salesman gave me the wrong information on the fabric so I canceled it one week later (1-11-08). I kept waiting for my refund check but it never came.

My local Wickes couldn’t be bothered checking on it for me. Finally I phoned the corporate office in Chicago. They said they’d just filed bankruptcy and to forget any refund. When I asked if I could just go pick up the furniture (better than losing the total amount), I was told the check was frozen and NO REFUND. I feel so cheated and basically as though someone had stolen $2083.41 from me. I have no recourse – paid with an electronic check.

Even though my money won’t be given back, Wickes still has their doors open and you can go in and buy furniture – but do pray you won’t lose your money. I can’t tell you how sick I am. I’m not a wealthy person and had to save a long time for this. Can you imagine buying something and never getting your money back or your merchandise? It’s robbery.”

When I heard about it, I send the following to the company:

“A close friend of mine, referenced above, recently bought some furniture from your company. She changed her mind, as delivery was going to take a long time, and she cancelled it [one week later!] and asked for a refund. NO furniture was ever even close to being delivered to her.

She has been waiting for a refund check, and was recently told there would be no refund [$2,083.41], since there was a pending bankruptcy.

I am horrified at this and I was amazed to see nothing on your website about it…advising customers that buying anything from you is a “final purchase” kind of deal.

I am considering taking this to the media, since I think this is at the very least bad business practice, and possibly fraud.

In the meantime, I want you to know I will be blogging about my friend’s experience, and sending e-mail to all of my other friends to warn them about your business ethics. I don’t want anyone else to buy from Wickes thinking they will stand behind their terms and conditions, i.e. [from your website] “Cancellation Policy – You may cancel your order for a full refund anytime before the 3 days preceding your scheduled delivery.”

Maybe you should add, “except that we won’t give you the money back, after all.”

What do you think? Will YOU buy from a company like this? They just added the Cindy Crawford Home line…I wonder how she would feel about working with a company like this?

I can totally understand financial issues. I have had my share. But to let people continue to buy, knowing full well you won’t be honoring your terms…well, that’s not honorable at all.

Mastectomy Bill

You may get something in your e-mail about this. It is NOT a hoax. There really is a Bill introduced into Congress that has been begging to be passed since 1997. It requires insurance companies to cover a minimum 48 hour hospital stay following a Mastectomy. There’s a petition and more information on the Lifetime Television page.

Some of you know, some may not…I was a nurse for nearly 25 years. I quit nursing, in part, because the insurance companies made it so difficult to care for a patient. Managed care is out of control. Doctors allowed it to happen…and in some ways, so did patients. But we are all responsible to some degree, for letting the insurance companies become monsters. Continue reading

Paris in the Springtime…

Just when I think things in the “entertainment” industry can’t get any weirder…THIS is on the news.

Who the hell does she think she is?? I mean, seriously…she is a spoiled, talentless socialite who made herself a name by being born a Hilton, being a party girl…and for having a scandalously leaked sex tape. She probably leaked it herself.

Now she claims to be in need of a “pardon” from the Governor. She is going to jail for 45 DAYS, not to death row. Apparently, the online petition to the Governor said that Paris “provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world” and “provides beauty and excitement” to people’s mundane lives.

Hope? Hope that if they work real hard [at partying] and get lucky enough to be suddenly adopted by an already very rich family, they too could be a spoiled-rotten, self-involved, conceited brat and could break whatever laws they want to with no concern? And “beauty and excitement”?? Tell you what, bi-otch, my life will never be mundane enough to want you to get pardoned from anything…not even a fart.

I called the Governor’s office to let him know that I would be extremely disappointed in him if he interceded for Paris in any way, public or private. I told him that she needs to be treated the same as anyone else who ignored the law and she should be used as an example to her adoring “fans”, so they know that she is not better than anyone else and there are consequences to disregarding the law. I was assured that he has very limited constitutional power in this type of situation and he likely could not help her if he wanted to…

In a statement to photographers outside her apartment, she said, “I feel that I was treated unfairly and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted and I don’t deserve this”. Good grief. Yes, Paris, you DO deserve this. YOU are a common criminal. YOU broke the law. You were on PROBATION. Then you broke the law AGAIN. Maybe one of Daddy’s lawyers should explain how ignoring the law doesn’t make it go away.

The fact that so much time and attention is spent on stupid, brainless, arrogant little twits like Britney, Lindsay and Paris is disgusting. All three of them should be back page news unless the subject is how NOT to live your life. I am saying this as someone who has made mistakes in my youth…I guess if I had more money, my mistakes would have been bigger. But my punishment would have been, too.

All in all?

Who Cares?