He thinks my router's sexy

I have mentioned before, my hubby is a geek.  He’s a network guy…has been for a long time.  He’s the reason I can even write an e-mail, or create a website.  He adores technology.  When he was in law school…and studying for the Bar Exam…I would find him blowing off “studying” by playing on the computer.  When I say “playing”, I don’t mean he was on Facebook, or surfing porn.  Not even playing solitaire.  He would be writing code for a new program…or learning a new formatting language…or researching new technology.  I finally said, “Hey. You will hate being a lawyer.  You love technology.  You should probably stay in this field.”  So far, he has.

Recently I have come to terms with the idea that I am done with nursing. For real.  I had to leave to take care of my MIL, and I guess I didn’t realize how quickly I would become “fusty“.

We’ve been discussing what I should do now.  I still have my online retail stores.  But toying with the idea of furthering my technology training.  I really should never have left my job at EDS. I adored it.  Oh, well.

So.  I am going through some materials on the CCNA [Cisco Certified Network Associate] training.  Watching videos for now.  I have been exposed to this stuff for years [hubby is at the CCIE...E for expert...level] so I know most of the terms, but this lays all of it out in an A to Z, start to finish, definition type of way.  Very nice.  However…

My husband works from home, as do I.  I work in a different room and he comes to visit when he’s on break.  When I have the headset on, absorbing tech-speak, and he comes into the room, I try to wait until I am at a reasonable jumping off point to stop the recording.  While I do that? He sits and stares at me.  More like…gazes at me.  With lust.

Today, I said, “What?”

He said, “What ‘what’?”

“You are staring at me.”

“No. Just…looking.”

“At what?”

“At you. You learning stuff.”

“Me. Learning geek stuff.”

“Yeaaaah.” *very big grin*

“This turns you on, huh?”

“Yeaaaaah. Sexy.”

“Sick.”

“Yeaaaaaah.”

Yeah, so.  Men…geeks in particular…pretty funny.  And easy.  Did I mention that? Heh.

Wow.

Just. Wow.

I used to have a blog.  I used to write almost every day.  I had a few readers…you know, cuz occasionally, I have a funny.  Somehow it all slipped away.  I haven’t written…here anyhow…in many months.  A few reasons come to mind.

I started being concerned with what other people might think.  When my blog was called “Write2B”, it was reasonably anonymous and I really didn’t care much what folks thought.  Since then I started a business, started marketing a bit on my blog and changed it to my actual name domain.  Then it mattered a little what I said and who I might offend.  I posted a couple of political opinions and a bunch of flaming and fights blew out of them.  It made me very uncomfortable here.

We moved and I fell into a bit of a depression.  I think that’s fairly common, so I don’t think I need to belabor that…but while there is some extremely FUNNY stuff that happens in Texas, I just didn’t care enough to write about it.

I worried that my husband’s ex was reading.  This came about because I figured out that MY ex’s new wife was reading.  While I don’t really care that much about the latter…the former kind of flipped me out.  She is a vindictive, evil, pseudo-Christian, hateful psychopath, and the idea of her having any knowledge about my life was…well, completely uncool.

So…some of those reasons still exist.  Some don’t.  What’s changed?

Let’s see…

I’m not depressed anymore.  I don’t have a gazillion friends here and I’m not living the high life by any stretch. But, we have settled in and found some stuff about Texas and our house that really appeal to us…so we are going with it.  We are still struggling financially because of pay cuts, plus we have a kid in college and another going through a difficult legal hassle over child custody.  We try to help them both when we can, as well as making sure my mother-in-law has what she needs on a very meager Social Security/Disability income.  But we have found a few things that are reasonably cheap [or free] and very enjoyable.  Scanning the flyers for what’s on extreme sale for the freezer…making home improvements on our own, instead of paying someone to do them…grilling at home instead of eating out.  Having coffee together in the pool.  Just sort of blooming where I’m planted, so to speak.

Um, I also started a political blog elsewhere, so I can actually write about inflammatory things elsewhere and it doesn’t have to start fights here.

Also?  I absolutely don’t give an Angora Rabbit’s furry butt whether my husband’s ex reads this or not.  We have been in an 18 month court battle to finally get her off our “payroll”.  This woman is barely in her 50′s, has a degree in Accounting or something and the youngest kid is 22 and has been out of the house for almost 5 years.  Yet she still collects $500 a month that was originally in the court order to help with “educational expenses” for her and the kids.  Unfortunately, there was never an end date set and she has taken full advantage of that fact.  What kind of “Christian” takes money that was never meant for her to live on and uses it for herself…never sending a dime to the kid who’s still in college?  Not once in 5 years.  In case you want the math, that’s nearly $30K she has stolen from her CHILD.  Nice.  In the meantime, we have bought said child a used car for college transport, paid for insurance, furniture, tuition, books, clothes…whatever she needed help with, including moving her here and helping her start over after a failed relationship…we did it.  I swear, I don’t understand how some women believe that they have a right to make a man “pay” for them when they no longer have the kids to use as a weapon and they no longer carry the title of “wife”. I wish the lawmakers would get over themselves and realize that once a marriage is over, it should be OVER.  Child support is one thing, but this is an adult who refuses to do for herself and wants to suck from a milk bottle that we provide forever. GROW UP, YOU LOSER!

OK. So. I’m back. Whether or not anyone cares…well, doesn’t matter.  But I am back.

Toasted Junk…?

I swear…there is nothing on TV to watch that you don’t hear about someone’s “junk”.

We have to see the commercials about men and their urinary problems, or worse. How many different drugs are there now to keep things down there, um…ready to roll? Who knew there was such a market for that anyhow?  Are there that many guys in this country with borked junk?

Sure, sure…we’ve been hearing way more than I want to about female issues, too.  Those women who talk to the little lady on the bathroom door need way more that something for urinary urgency.  A good shrink or some anti-psychotics, maybe.  And seriously, I am glad we are past pouring blue water into a pad on TV, but I really don’t get feel a need for a 1950′s style synchronized swimming number…especially when it has to do with birth control.  Really?  Gah.

And I know we have been subjected to more than anyone ever needs to know about John and Lorena Bobbett…something about having your junk cut off and thrown out of a moving vehicle that captures media attention.

But on Christmas Day 2009, one idiot topped them all.  “The Nigerian”, as he was referred to by two terrorist planners in a communication overheard November by CIA agents, tried to blow up a plane headed into Detroit.  How?  Well, I am glad you asked.  This guy made his UNDERWEAR into a BOMB!

A powder explosive was sewn into the crotch of his [“girlie looking” according to my DH] garment [the comments on this link are priceless]…the detonator to which apparently didn’t work very well.  He ended up catching the blanket on fire and parts of his clothing…in the process sustaining some burns that required a short hospital stay.

Of course, since we call Richard Reid [who used the same powder in his tennis shoe for his device] the “Shoe Bomber”, it stands to reason that this guy will forevermore be known as “The Underwear Bomber”.

This annoys my husband to no end.

“Anyone who tries to blow up a plane by first blowing up his crotch needs a stupider name than that.”

“You don’t think ‘the Underwear Bomber‘ is stupid enough?”

“No.”

“I don’t think ‘the Underwear Bomber‘ is going to garner a lot of respect in prison.”

“Maybe not, but they need to call him something else.”

“Like what?”

“Like ‘the idiot who tried to blow up his junk‘…”

“Really? That’s awesome, honey…”

“Shut up. Maybe ‘Roasted Nuts‘ or ‘Blistered Balls‘…?”

“That’s um, more festive…works for me…”

“I got it. ‘Toasted Junk‘.”

Thanks, Farouk, you dumbass. Now I gotta hear about your junk 24/7 on every news broadcast…and probably get MY fat old lady junk blown up on some big screen full body scan next time I fly.  Very nice.  I hate terrorists. Why don’t you all go practice blowing up your junk in the desert.  I wish you much success.

It's 'Boxing Day'…so can I hit someone?

I made a deal with Steve before we got out of bed…three hours ago.  I would make coffee and take it to him in bed if he would make us breakfast.  I am still waiting.  And it’s lunch time now.   I just told him that.   Dammit.

I said, “3 hours ago I took you coffee.”

He said, “Yes, and it’s gone now…by the way.”

I said, “Uh huh.  The deal was I bring you coffee and you make me breakfast.”

“I’m going to make you brunch.”

“When? In time for dinner?”

“I just wanted to do this one thing…”

Is it just me or is there always just “one more thing” whenever I ask for something?  I mean, it’s not like I ask for that many things.   The garbage to be taken out…or the recycling.  The litter box.  You know, guy stuff.  An occasional breakfast on Boxing Day…since I cooked two meals and did three loads of dishes and cleaned the kitchen twice yesterday.

Maybe the next time he hollers “Honey, can you bring me some toilet paper…?”, I’ll say…

“Sure! I just want to do one more thing…”

Snowy Christmas Eve

OK, normally, I avoid shopping on Christmas Eve like the plague. I had no choice today, because I have been out of town and we had no food. So…off to Walmart I went. It was raining, and cold, with a winter storm warning just a few hours away.

It was as I expected. Crowded, crazy, loaded with grumpy, selfish, rude people. Standing in big clumps in the aisles…thinking over their choices like no one else is trying to get anything done and it’s all about them. They are more special and therefore, entitled to cut in front of you or waste your time arguing with the clerk over $0.03 on one tiny thing in the checkout line when they have 500 tiny little items left to ring up.

I continued on, trying to stay out of the way of the nutballs. It was like an obstacle course…evasive action and strategic corrections were needed often. I was in a completely defensive mode, just trying to keep from being hit. I actually laughed out loud, though, when I overheard a young couple at their cart.

He, manning the cart filled with groceries and one toddler: “OK, how are we going to manage this…that aisle is completely blocked. I don’t think I can get in there.”
She, pregnant with #2: “Stay here. I’ll go get it and come back.”
He: “OK, be careful…”
She: “I will. OK. Wait here. I’m going in.”

I busted out laughing and they grinned at me, as she sprinted into the crowded aisle.

“Brave.” I said to him as I scooted past.
“Yeah. That’s my girl.” he said.

I turned down a mostly empty lane to cut over to the other side of the grocery section. When I came out of the aisle there was a cart stopped in front of me. A couple my age, again, the man behind the cart.

He: “Ooh! Sorry!”
She: “Honey! I told you, this is serious stuff! You can’t just STOP in the lane. You’ll kill someone!”

Again, I burst out laughing. She grinned at me and said, “Sorry. He’s an amateur.”

I swear, I couldn’t stop laughing then.

A woman in shiny copper go go boots and a faux fur coat telling her teenager to get chips:

Kid: “What kind of chips?”
Faux Fur Lady: “Those ruffly kind…you know. And we’ll get some dip…”
Kid: “We have dip at home, right?”
FFL: “I’m NOT eating THAT dip.”

LOL…okaaaay. Poor kid.

Once I started laughing, everythingsnow122409 got better, or at least seemed easier to deal with. I walked out of the store into a full on winter storm. Snow, cold, wind howling. Now I am home…fire going, cat curled next to the laptop, Snuggie on. Yes, I have one…actually, I have two. So.  Make fun if you will. They are warm.

Not planning to leave the house for a couple days. By then it should be sunny and 70F. It is Texas, after all. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Simple Joy

My cat is awesome. I know, you cat haters don’t get this. But the fact that just getting a belly rub can put you into this state of bliss? Well, gee. That is just incredibly cool.

So I think this will be my new goal. Try to find something simple…to be able to bring this kind of joy and peace, even temporarily. Meditation, crossword puzzles, exercise…something. I will keep you apprised.

A Tribute to our Heroes

This 4th of July, we should all take some time to remember the menUSATXflag and women shaping and protecting our Country… from the Founders and Patriots who formed our Nation Under God,  to our Heroes today who have made the ultimate sacrifice, in order to give us the freedom and abundance we enjoy today.  God bless them and their families.

God Bless America.

The following is from an e-mail sent to me by a dear friend.  Grab a box of Kleenex and watch the video below:

Killed in action the week before, the body of Staff Sergeant First Class John C. Beale was returned to Falcon Field in Peachtree City, Georgia, just south of Atlanta, on June 11, 2009. The Henry County Police Department escorted the procession to the funeral home in McDonough, Georgia. A simple notice in local papers indicated the road route to be taken and the approximate time.

Nowadays one can be led to believe that America no longer respects honor and no longer honors sacrifice outside the military. Be it known that there are many places in this land where people still recognize the courage and impact of total self-sacrifice. Georgia remains one of those graceful places. The link below is a short travelogue of that day’s remarkable and painful journey. But only watch this if you wish to have some of your faith in people restored.  Please [right click  to copy the link for this post and] share widely.

Happy Independence day, Y’all!  Have loads of fun…please be safe…and don’t forget what we’re celebrating today.  There are folks who want to kill us for it or take it away from us EVERY DAY!