Moderation is really a difficult thing to master. Really. Now, most days, I can do it…but the ones I don’t keep things under control…well, I just should.
I swam today, but the pool was cold, so not enough. Before that…I ate waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many sugarfree [SF] chocolate covered almonds and malted milk balls left over from going to the movie with my DH the other night.
Couple of things on this. First, no, they do not have SF candy at the theater. My DH is diabetic, so that’s what we buy…and it’s in my purse when I enter the theater. If they provided it, I might consider buying it there, even at the ridiculously inflated prices…but they don’t. Sue me.
Second, SF candy…especially the chocolates and gummy things…have sugar alcohols in them. They are NOT calorie free, but they don’t respond in the body the same as sugar does, so diabetics can usually have them without a lot of impact on their blood sugar. I don’t usually eat too many because they also tend to create a huge amount of gas when you eat more than, say, TWO pieces. They taste…awesome. Like real chocolate. But the after effects…O. M. G.
I have no idea why farts are so funny. But they so are. Even when you’re alone. Or watching Craig Ferguson. Doncha love how he says “farty”? With an h. And rolled r’s…like “Fahhhrrrty”. But I digress.
DH took a nap, and I was in the kitchen, just rippin’ one after another…loud…I mean, reverberators. Which, as ladylike as I am…I rarely do. Heh. But not smelly. Men are really good at the stinky ones. Really good. THOSE are not funny unless they’re yours.
So, I couldn’t help it, I decided to just get it out. Better out than in, is what I have always heard, right? But then I got laughing. The cat looked at me after one of the more offensively booming ones, and the expression on his face just sent me into a giggle fit. Of course, when you’re full of air it’s sort of a lather/rinse/repeat phenomenon. Gas/giggle/gas/giggle/gas/giggle/gas…
I have finally caught my breath, and I still cannot for the life of my figure out why they are so funny. And yet…the laughing felt pretty darn good. Maybe good enough to have just another piece or two…and let the good times roll.
Addendum: DH is now awake and I am still um, airing out. At the first sound he looked at me with shock and said “Holy Criminy! WHAT was THAT?”
I smiled and said, “That was me letting all the other men on earth know that I am taken.”