OK, normally, I avoid shopping on Christmas Eve like the plague. I had no choice today, because I have been out of town and we had no food. So…off to Walmart I went. It was raining, and cold, with a winter storm warning just a few hours away.
It was as I expected. Crowded, crazy, loaded with grumpy, selfish, rude people. Standing in big clumps in the aisles…thinking over their choices like no one else is trying to get anything done and it’s all about them. They are more special and therefore, entitled to cut in front of you or waste your time arguing with the clerk over $0.03 on one tiny thing in the checkout line when they have 500 tiny little items left to ring up.
I continued on, trying to stay out of the way of the nutballs. It was like an obstacle course…evasive action and strategic corrections were needed often. I was in a completely defensive mode, just trying to keep from being hit. I actually laughed out loud, though, when I overheard a young couple at their cart.
He, manning the cart filled with groceries and one toddler: “OK, how are we going to manage this…that aisle is completely blocked. I don’t think I can get in there.”
She, pregnant with #2: “Stay here. I’ll go get it and come back.”
He: “OK, be careful…”
She: “I will. OK. Wait here. I’m going in.”
I busted out laughing and they grinned at me, as she sprinted into the crowded aisle.
“Brave.” I said to him as I scooted past.
“Yeah. That’s my girl.” he said.
I turned down a mostly empty lane to cut over to the other side of the grocery section. When I came out of the aisle there was a cart stopped in front of me. A couple my age, again, the man behind the cart.
He: “Ooh! Sorry!”
She: “Honey! I told you, this is serious stuff! You can’t just STOP in the lane. You’ll kill someone!”
Again, I burst out laughing. She grinned at me and said, “Sorry. He’s an amateur.”
I swear, I couldn’t stop laughing then.
A woman in shiny copper go go boots and a faux fur coat telling her teenager to get chips:
Kid: “What kind of chips?”
Faux Fur Lady: “Those ruffly kind…you know. And we’ll get some dip…”
Kid: “We have dip at home, right?”
FFL: “I’m NOT eating THAT dip.”
LOL…okaaaay. Poor kid.
Once I started laughing, everything got better, or at least seemed easier to deal with. I walked out of the store into a full on winter storm. Snow, cold, wind howling. Now I am home…fire going, cat curled next to the laptop, Snuggie on. Yes, I have one…actually, I have two. So. Make fun if you will. They are warm.
Not planning to leave the house for a couple days. By then it should be sunny and 70F. It is Texas, after all. Merry Christmas, y’all.